gru:Bz

The indie web is saving my sanity

A lot of my posts have covered stuff I don't ever have the time of day to talk about. I work too much and almost all of my coworkers are conservative boomers. I don't talk to most of them much but every once in a while I'll have to share a store with some of them. Sometimes they give me random phone calls. Luckily I have the option of just not picking up the phone.

I just don't relate with the people I have to interact with on the regular. I mean we aren't having heavy political conversations 24/7 but it just doesn't feel comfortable being around people who you know are the polar opposite of who you are.

I feel like being able to write about the stuff I never get to talk about is a healthy counterweight to that. I'm not a great writer, I know a lot of the stuff I write won't be read for weeks, or possibly ever. Some of it might be boring or come across cheesy. Sometimes I cover really broad, uninteresting things.

But it has had the unexpected effect of making me feel more valid as a person. It feels odd saying that, but it's true.

Maybe it's because I haven't had a hobby I can get lost in for too long. Making the rounds in different indie web neighborhoods, learning little bits of CSS and bringing my vision to life one piece at a time does a pretty good job at keeping me from getting bored and letting my mind wander to stress. Then when I'm done with that for a while I can write some more. Sometimes I'm proud of it, sometimes I delete it after a couple hours.

It feels... healthier than doomscrolling. I prefer this over traditional social media because of the ownership and freedom, and the fact that I sort of get to whisper what I'm saying rather than blasting it over a megaphone and putting myself on stage in front of an audience riding algorithmic dopamine waves.

#meta